On this episode hosts Jennie and Zoe chat to Kris Aves, a former Metropolitan police officer who was paralysed from the Westminster Bridge terror attack in March 2017, when he was hit by the van driven by the terrorist.
We talk about the attack, how his life has changed, his relationships and more.
On this episode hosts Jennie and Zoe chat to Kris Aves, a former Metropolitan police officer who was paralysed from the Westminster Bridge terror attack in March 2017, when he was hit by the van driven by the terrorist.
We talk about the attack, how his life has changed, his relationships and more.
JENNIE: Hello and welcome to the Undressing Disability podcast, where we talk all things sex and disability. Eat with me. One of your hosts, Jennie Williams, and my lovely co host, Zoe Lloyd. We have so many exciting guests on this series and we really hope you enjoy it just as much as we do.
On this episode. Zoe and I chat to Chris Aves, a former Metropolitan Police officer who was paralysed from the Westminster Bridge terror attack in March 2017, when he was hit by a van driven by the terrorist. We talk about the attack, how his life has changed, his relationships and so much more.
Hello, and I am Jennie Williams, and we've got our other lovely host, Zoe. Hello. And today we are talking to Kris, who is sitting there smiling at us with a nice smile. He was ten minutes late, so he's got to be really nice, throwing his head back in disgust, like it's not true, but it was true, but it's all right.
So. Hi, Kris. And do you want to introduce yourself?
KRIS: Yeah, of course. So, my name is Kris Aves and I was injured on the 2017 Westminster Bridge terrorist attack.
I was hit by the driver of the SUV and left with a spinal cord injury. So I have some feeling and little movement from kind of my chest downwards, I'm level T four, T five.
So, yes, I have some movement, some feeling, but everything else needs assistance, whether it be with medication, whether it be with wearing splints on my feet as well to help with spasms and tones. So, yeah, incomplete, but sometimes, and some may differ, say that it's wrong, but it can be a lot worse with the pain that you do get the frustration as well.
That's a big thing.
ZOE: Yeah, something that takes a lot of getting used to, or maybe never get used to it.
KRIS: Well, there's that as well.
Do you pretend that everything's okay? Because you know that it's not. You get so far, like I'm coming up to six years now, you get so far and you think, okay, things are going to start coming back, movement is going to start coming back, and then you hit a brick wall and then you're kind of left with, this is how my life has now panned out to be.
JENNIE: You were a policeman, you've retired now?
KRIS: Yeah, medically retired, been twelve months now. February 2022, it was.
JENNIE: Okay. And you weren't on duty that day, were you? You were going to, is that right?
KRIS: Yeah, that's the thing. So it was a day at work. I wasn't on physical active duty, so I was at work and I attended New Scotland Yard, where I was receiving an award for some work that I'd done on the Brexit marches the year before.
So I was in my tunic order. You go up there and you're meeting all the police commanders in New Scotland Yard and you receive your award, you have your photos taken and coffee and croissants, etc.
And then a couple of us that were in the same team as me, we were liaison officers, so we go around with, like, marches and demonstrations, decided that we were going to go back to the police station south of the river, get changed and head out for, like, a beer and burger celebration.
And then it all changed.
JENNIE: I know you don't remember I've read that you don't actually remember a lot of the incident that happened.
Do you remember before that? Do you remember the awards?
KRIS: Yeah, I remember all the award ceremony. And my last memory is and it pops up quite a lot in the talks that I do. We got down in the elevator from New Scotland Yard, and I'd left my brolly upstairs, and it was one of those, like, sliding doors moments of do I go up and get it or do I ring someone to bring it back down to Lambeth Police Station, which is where we was heading.
And that's a decision that I made. So by making that decision, I then kind of walked into a world of pain, rubbish and crap, basically.
JENNIE: What was the decision? Did you go back and get it?
KRIS: No, I didn't go and get my umbrella.
ZOE: Okay, if you hadn't gone back, you might have been in the station.
KRIS: Yeah, exactly. Well, if I had gone back and got it, I would have then walked into what would have happened. So I would have kind of been there to assist, etc. But yeah, because I chose not to go and get it, those split seconds put me in that position.
JENNIE: We can never really kind of constantly go back, but as soon as when we've been injured or something's happened, even if you just knock something over in a kitchen and it goes everywhere, and you go, oh, if only you hadn't done that.
KRIS: That's what it is. It's kind of a small phrase, but can lead on to big things.
ZOE: How do you cope with that? Do you see that as a fate thing, or does it play on the mind?
KRIS: Do I believe in fate? Well, potentially, yes, because you said, it is fate, isn't it? We all got a journey that's planned out for us. So no, it doesn't play my mind. It doesn't I just talk about it when I'm doing these talks that the umbrella kind of pops up in conversation.
ZOE: Sure, yeah.
JENNIE: I think the thing is quite often, and I include myself and Zoe's the same in that, with our disabilities.
And you talk and you do talks and you join training. You almost go into, like, robotic mode of you tell a story, it's a script, and it doesn't really penetrate your heart that much because it's something that you're well, rehearsed and that you say. And you kind of have to do that because otherwise you'd be reliving trauma every day, and you would be bringing up all these emotions and no one wants to live like that.
But at the same time, there are kind of elements you are allowed to say, like you said, it's shit. You are allowed to do that. And there's almost sometimes this responsibility that you've got to be if you're public facing, you've got to go through something and everyone wants this heroic, happy ending.
Do you ever feel that? Kind of because it was so public and you were a policeman, do you ever feel like you've got to do that? I know you've done really well with your sport, which we'll talk about, but in your own personal life and how you kind of work your way through this.
KRIS: Yeah, I think there is a lot of time where you put on a brave face.
I'm a really outgoing person and I remember speaking to my Mum, quite recently, actually, and I asked her, how was I when I came out of the coma? It was like seven or eight days later. I had no memory of anything and I asked her, how was I? What were my words?
And after being told that there was like, 0.5% chance of you getting feeling back or any mobility back and walking again and things like that, my answer was, well, that's 0.5% that we can work with. So I was really positive, like, you mentioned the word there, it's shit. And it was and I said that to my Mum as well. But from the next 24 hours of waking up an intensive care unit, I just was back to my happy go lucky self and thought, well, just got to push on and work with what we got.
ZOE: Yeah, exactly. Work with what you've got. And I do think that's such a massive integral part of how people do cope with an illness or injury, isn't it? It's all your mental stuff, really, isn't it? Of how you approach recovery or just managing it, really.
KRIS: Yeah, the mental part is a huge part.
Like I said, I'm quite an outgoing person and, yeah, there's days where I don't want to do things and there's days where I'm a bit people can call it lazy, but I'm a bit, like can't be bothered, but it's not a poor me, I'm disabled, I can't do anything, I can't face the world.
Whereas, sadly, there are people out there with disabilities that are like that, that are in a black hole. And the reason that I do talks and podcasts like this is to try and spread that awareness and explain to people that work with what you got, use your family and friends around you. But also, the charities that are out there are so helpful physically as well. Like taking people out on trips and things like that, to the other side of it, mentally side of it, where there's someone at the end of a phone that you can talk to.
ZOE: Yeah, there's a lot of resources out there that maybe people aren't aware of or they don't even seek it because. They're so consumed. I don't mean that in a negative way, but if something terrible has happened to you and you can't see a way out, you're not going to then go and maybe reach out for those solutions, are you? So, yeah, it's great that you're doing that and putting out the message saying, right, look, this is available, and I'm guessing we were alluding to your golf, and I'm assuming that was a massive part of your rehab, was it?
KRIS: Yeah, well, I played golf before I was injured socially with friends and people like that, but I love playing golf, and when I was in hospital, there was three things that I was always worried about that I couldn't be doing anymore. The main one was to be a Dad. Obviously, when I was injured, my children were six and four, so one was obviously being a dad again. The other one was going to watch Tottenham Hotspur. Obviously, I love my football, and the third one, again, was a biggie was playing golf. I never thought I'd be able to play golf again. And I was really lucky to be approached by a charity called the Golf Trust.
And they came forward to me and they help people with disabilities, they help people, elderly people as well, get back into not just playing golf, but people that have never played it before, because it's a sport that you can play with any generation Son, Father, Grandfather, can go out and play a game of golf together.
And the Golf Trust approached me and introduced me to a machine called a paragolpher, which allows people with spinal cord injuries to be in a seated positions machine and at a press or a button, get you into a neon standing position where you can swing a club again.
JENNIE: 've seen it, it's flipping expensive, isn't it? It is really expensive, yeah, you're looking at so it's European, the company that sell it, but it's between 20 and €22,000, so it's not cheap. But this is where the Golf trust are being amazing and what their plan is, and I think they've got about five or six at the moment, but what the plan is at the moment is to get a paragolpher between 20 and 30 miles away from every spinal injury hospital in the country, and Scotland and Wales as well.
So that's what they want to do. They want to get a paragolpher based at a golf club near all the spinal injury hospitals, so people can then travel and try it out.
JENNIE: Is it Justin Levine, is it?
KRIS: So Justin works with the golf trust as well?
I'm friends with Justin, but it's Kai Menai Davis, it's his charity, and a guy called John. They started it up and they're the ones that kind of travel around. They've got a great team working for them. They go into elderly people homes as well and work with them. They work with disadvantaged children and again, they work with a charity called Battleback, which is for ex service men and women, and they can come along to golf clubs and try out the paragolph as well if they were injured in their tours of duty.
ZOE: It's fantastic. I saw it on your social media and I love sports, but I'd never heard of that and I wouldn't know that you could do that. So just for you to be putting. It out there,
JENNIE: Well, it was a big thing for you, wasn't it, Zoe? You went from being, like, non stable person to a wheelchair user. You were very sporty and that was quite a big thing in your life, wasn't it?
ZOE: Yeah. And like you said about having an incomplete break and a complete break, and you sort of think, actually, this could be worse.
I've got rheumatoid arthritis, right? But then I went to the gym and there was loads of spinal injuries, but they were all playing sport and I was a little bit jealous that I didn't have a broken back at that point. There's always pluses and minuses. I was like, oh, God, if I'd have had a lower break, I'd have been able to play basketball, whereas every joint of mine is broken.
So you can always see pluses and minuses, can't you, of whatever situation you're in. And I am pretty limited in what I can do because of my upper body mobility issues as well, but just seeing what is out there is fantastic. So just to scroll on social media and then go, oh, my God, potentially, I could do that, someone's going to be sitting in their lounge thinking, I'll never play golf again, and then watch you and go..
KRIS: Yeah, and that's what I want to do. They say, like, every cloud has a silver lining. Where my story is it's you know, international as well. I've just come back from a break from Spain and we were sat in a cafe and I was talking to my partner about some bits and pieces about my disability, and we was overheard by an Australian couple, and they were ex Australian police officers, and they do podcasts as well on disabilities. And he's the CEO of a charity over there. And so we sat, had a cup of coffee with them, we were talking and he wants to get me on a podcast as well in Australia.
We have to do this one face to face! Because it is an international story, when I do talks, people remember the day, they remember where they were on that day and they then may know someone with an injury. It doesn't have to just be a spinal cord injury, it can be any disability. And people can listen and say, actually, yeah, I know someone that can benefit from listening to this talk, or can contact this charity and that's what I want to do.
It's all about spreading awareness.
JENNIE: Well as thrilling and exciting, I find golf and there's no sarcasm in my voice whatsoever. 100%. Love it, love it, love it.
KRIS: I can tell by your face.
JENNIE: I do think it's really cool, everything good to genuinely but I mean, we're a charity that also look at sexual needs of disabled people and I'm really hoping that we're beating that Australian CEO guy that was chatting to you, because I'm hoping that they're not going to talk to you about that.
But in all seriousness, have many people had those conversations? Were you having those conversations? You said that there were three things that you woke up and you were thinking, can I ever do again? Was being sexually active? I mean, I'm hearing that Tottenham was more important than sex, actually, that's what I heard.
Because Tottenham and golf, I get the Dad bit, you get points for that. But what were they? Was that something that was playing in your mind? And have you had many conversations with.
KRIS: So early days? Obviously in my injury, being intensive care and things like that, it wasn't top of the agenda, it really wasn't.
So my partner at the time, the Mum of my two children, she kind of became a rock. We was in hospital and I was at Stoke Mandeville Spinal Injury Hospital.
But further down the line, when I'm doing a bit of rehab and that, of course, you then get that sexual frustration a big thing of spinal injuries. Some can, some can't, but in know it's about getting an erection.
And then based at Stoke Mandeville, there is a nurse now, I can't remember his name off the top of my head and he'll kill me for that because we came quite close. But you have a chat with them.
ZOE: Is it Damien?
KRIS: No, it's not Damien. No. I think he's from Poland.
It's going to bug me now anyway. It will come to me later on. I'll be like, oh, there he is.
I had a meeting with him and I explained everything. That obviously the frustration in my head, that, yes, I've got a partner and I want to be sexually active, but I can't get an erection. So you then talk about the things that are out there, one of them being like a Viagra to help you out.
There are sexual, what we call toys, I suppose, like male vibrators to help you, and bits and pieces. So he introduced you to some of these bits and they helped and they worked. But the big frustration is then it's got to be planned sex. You've got to be at the dinner table and say to your partner, so, are we having sex tonight? Because if we are, I need to take a tablet, I need to do this, I need to do that, and your partner turn around and say, well, I don't know, there's no spontaneity.
Is that the word I'm looking for?
Laying in bed at night, watching an episode or something on Netflix and then rolling over for a kiss and a cuddle on it to lead onto something because I then wouldn't be able to you can't then just say, right, stop, wait a minute, I've got to take a tablet.
And then 30 minutes later, the mood's gone. And that is the frustration part of it. That is the frustration.
ZOE: Was your partner frustrated with that as well?
KRIS: No, I don't think so. She understood everything,
But again, I think with me being injured and having two young children, I don't think it was at the top of her list as well, but she understood my frustration. So we did. We made it work by doing that. But again, there'll be nights where I might just take a tablet and then nothing happens.
And then you're kind of left waking up three or four times in the night.
JENNIE: I'm going to tell you something that's going to blow your mind. You could take a tablet, wait half an hour, work on your partner.
KRIS: No, exactly that. But it's then when your partner turns around and says, not feeling it, this lay another cuddle and fall asleep. And you're kind of left there with the bed sheets in like a tent position.
ZOE: Yeah, my friend's been in the same position. And then it might work hours later, like you say. So you might have started something. Oh, it's not working. Everyone else goes to sleep and then, oh, hello. 02:00 in the morning. Yeah.
KRIS: Not be able to get to sleep. Yeah, that's the thing. That is the frustration side of it.
I don't know, obviously how much you know, but yeah. So me and my partner separated at the end of 2020. 2020. It was the end of 2020, but numerous reasons that I won't go into, but again, one of them probably was the sexual frustration side of it for me as well. In my head, I wanted it all day, every day. What was the age then? 37 years old. And I was quite sexually active, but amongst other things, we separated all amicable, and obviously the children were our main priority.
Since then, I had met someone, and it's just over a year that we've been together now. And when we met online and we were talking back and forth by messaging, I didn't automatically say, oh, by the way, I'm in a wheelchair. I got spinal cord injury.
I didn't want to throw that out there straight away. My profile pictures didn't show me in a wheelchair, so I wanted people to kind of get to know me. And then our first date, we went out. We went out for dinner, some drinks, and we were talking. And then she went home.
And I went home wondering that she hadn't once asked me about my injury. She hadn't once asked me about the wheelchair. And I was a bit miffed. I was like, oh, let's see how it goes. And I asked her the next day. Why? And she said, Because I don't see that.
I want to get to know you first of all, to see if me and you are compatible. That comes further down the line. I want you to see you as a person. And I really appreciate that. And as I said, it's now been, what, 13 months that we've been together.
And, yeah, things are good.
ZOE: That's interesting what you said about the dating bit, because we get questions into us all the time and it's the big old dilemma. Do you put on that you're a wheelchair user and then you only attract people that are okay with it? Or do you attract more people by not putting it but then you've got to disclose it and unfortunately, some people have run away and can you deal with that rejection?
So that's quite interesting. You went down that road and I did similar initially, I think. I didn't put the pictures of me in a wheelchair on it. Was there a part of you when your partner now said, oh, but I don't see it? That's a weird thing, isn't it? Because some people go, no, I don't see the wheelchair. And then some people are like, well, this is my identity, my story. And it's a big part of your story.
KRIS: Yeah, maybe I said that wrong, actually.
Maybe I said that wrong. I think it was more of she wanted to get to know me as a person before we moved on to the disability side of things.
I don't think she physically said, I don't see that. I just see you. Because, as you said, it's a physical part of my like when I walk into pubs and restaurants, when I'm going down the street, people see a wheelchair. I've just come back from Spain and we went to Seville for the weekend.
We took a little road trip up to Seville. And the amount of stares that I got, not just from children, but adults as well, so maybe I don't know. Are there many people with disabilities that don't go out in wheelchairs in Seville? Again, I don't know, but yeah. Whereas in England just go in and people.
ZOE: Do you find, though, that even in different places in England it's a bit like that. So I live five minutes from Stoke Mandiville Hospital, and again, like you say, everyone's used to seeing people in wheelchairs. It's a spinal injury unit, so no one bats an eyelid in my town, but I might go somewhere quieter.
And like you say, then it's like you are the only wheelchair in the village. And people are think, okay, so like you say, is it exposure? It must be, mustn't it?
KRIS: Yeah, I think exposure is a big part. Now, I know people that were at Stoke Mandeville but lived further away, but have since then moved closer to Stoke Mandeville, having a spinal injuries hospital near them is a big part. And as you said, if you're within kind of 15/20 minutes drive Stoke Mandeville or any other spinal injuries hospital, people know that there's people in wheelchairs about. If you go into the deepest, darkest parts of a kind of Cumbrian kind of village or anything like that, then, yeah, I doubt it is very notice it's not huge out there, but there's millions and millions of people that have a disability.
I think, as well, if you saw an elderly person being pushed down the road by their carer or by their partner or anything like that, people just walk past. But seeing a wheelchair, maybe like a manual wheelchair or an electric wheelchair, people see that a little bit different.
JENNIE: However you found it, I'm just thinking that's why Aylesbury Town's growing and growing and growing. All disabled people are moving there.
ZOE: There aren't disabled car parking spaces.
JENNIE: I'm originally from Aylesbury as well, so I can say that. Well, now I live in Brighton, and it's one of the most inaccessible places. But it's funny you say that because my daughter broke her leg and she's temporarily in a wheelchair for seven weeks. She's very used to being around wheelchair users because I have lots of friends who are wheelchair users and she gets in them.
She went to school, all the kids were staring at her and she couldn't understand it wasn't a big deal to her. Her barbies have wheelchairs. So it's that kind of misconception. How often we see it.
KRIS: I think, though, in the past kind of two years or so, things like the podcast that you're doing, the charities are really getting out there, and I believe people are noticing it and not accepting it, because it's not a case of you accept it or don't accept it. It's more of people have become more aware.
The awareness has really grown, I think, the last couple of years.
But then it's now down to businesses and companies and councils to make their towns and villages accessible for people. That's the big part.
JENNIE: I've just got a question to ask you, kind of I know we're kind of nearing the end of time, really. You went gone from and it comes back to relationships and everything that you're saying about that.
You went from obviously a physical job being a policeman to now being a wheelchair user. Still physical, by the sounds of it, like doing your golf and other I mean, how physical is golf? I don't know. That's questionable.
KRIS: Well, you have to swing your arms quite a lot.
JENNIE: And I'm talking about being in a relationship. How have you been able to mentally adjust over the last few years? Because I guess dynamics change physically. They obviously do. And you say you have to plan sex, and let's face it, sex gets a bit more planned anyway the longer you're in a relationship. So Tuesday night. Let's do it.
KRIS: Christmas and birthdays, isn't it?
JENNIE: Yeah, but I mean, how have you adapted and adjusted, kind of, with your mental health? Because mind and body connected.
KRIS: So I still see and feel me as the Kris of six years ago, before I was injured. So mentally, I feel that I'm quite strong. So there'll be days where maybe people say, well, actually, Chris may go and speak to someone.
Before I was a police officer, I was a club rep, so I used to work in all the Greek islands and then when it worked in bars in Spain...
ZOE: Thought I recognised you.
KRIS: Yeah, exactly. Was it Cavos 99?
But because of that who I am, because I like to be the centre of attention, I like to be at the party and have a laugh and business that hasn't changed. The brain is a powerful, powerful tool and for me, it's allowed me to carry on being the Kris of old.
But then, obviously, like you said there, the physical bit does get in the way sometimes,
going and wait at a bar and not being seen. There's always people standing around you, getting served before you, things like that.
But the mental side of it, I'd like to think that I am quite strong.
Like I said earlier, there's days where I don't want to do things and I get a bit lazy in that. But if I've got exciting things to look forward to and this is where I might sound a little bit selfish and I understand that, but if I've got exciting things to look forward to, like, if I had to be up at 07:00 a.m. because I play golf. at 09:00 a.m., the alarm would be set. I'd be up and I'd look forward to it. If I had, I don't know, something not really planned for that day, I might stay in bed till ten because I can. and because I'm comfortable with it as well.
The selfishness side does come into play a little bit, but I've had so much taken away from me in my life, why shouldn't I why shouldn't I look forward to the good things that I enjoy as well? So that's what I do. But on the flip side of that, I've also got to remember that I have got a relationship that I need to take care of as well, that I've got to concentrate on.
I've got two fantastic young children that are 9 and 11 as well that I've got to take care of. So it's kind of a little bit of a juggling act. I'd like to think I'm doing okay with it at the moment.
JENNIE: How have your kids adapted to it, Kris?
KRIS: Yeah. Good.
They play up for me, I know that, but I still think they play up to their Mum as well. Is that part of it? I don't know. Is that just them growing up into their kind of pushing into their teenage years and. Getting near that age. But for example, when we're about to cross the road, my little boy, bless him, he'll always stand behind me and hold my chair and help me push it, or he'll hold on to me.
So that side of things, I see that he's protecting me as well. And I love that. Even though we fight, we bicker and they're little gits sometimes when I see things like that, I know that he cares about me because I'm in a wheelchair as well, and I love that.
And my little girl, she'll spend half her time when she's at my house, like, sat on my lap. Yeah, she might have the iPad in front of her, but she wants to be close to me. It's her 10th birthday soon, so she's banging to Harry Potter at the moment. So we're taking her to Harry Potter World for her birthday.
Oh, yeah, that's great. Yeah, she's looking forward to that. So have my kids adapted? Yes. Have I been able to adapt to be a dad to them? Yes, in some parts, but no in others, where I can't go and run around a field and kick a football and do this with them anymore.
ZOE: And how does that make you feel?
KRIS: That's the frustration part. I do get frustrated part of that.
So mentally, the one thing that plays my mind is the frustration, whether it be sexual or whether it be that I can't do certain things anymore. I don't drive either. I'm lucky that I have a care assistant, like a rehab assistant that works with me. So she kind of does my driving about for me, shopping appointments, picking the kids up from school, taking them out, swimming lessons.
And again, we have to plan things. And that's, again, a frustration because things like holidays, things like going to the cinema, you have to always ring ahead and make sure that they're accessible.
I've turned up at the cinema before and the screen was on the floor, up one floor, but the lift only went to one side where it was screened one to five, whatever, whereas my screen was the one where it was stairs so I couldn't do it. And they're always like, oh, it's on our website, but you have to go through 25 different pages to find their accessible page to read down about that.
And that's the bit that annoys me and frustrates me as well, is the planning.
ZOE: I think holidays for me is like the biggest thing or just a trip away. People go, oh, yeah, but you can get a really cheap holiday. And I'm like, I don't get that, actually, because I have to book months in advance to get an accessible room.
You don't get the deals on them. They're not advertised.
KRIS: And they're not advertised. They're not advertised.
ZOE: I'd love to do a campaign about holidays because it just doesn't...
KRIS: Well, there. Is actually a company called Include Travel. They're brand new and they are doing things, they've done one at the Maldives and what they want to do is go to hotels and things like that and give them that include travel star rating, for example. So when you're on their website, you know that they've got all the accessible rooms, they've got step free access and all of that.
So, yes, they're a new charity, new company. I went to one of their meetings last year and they're hopefully touch wood for them. They're going to be coming up and coming and people can then just go onto their website and book hotels. And it's not just a weekend trip to Prague or anything like that.
We're talking the Maldives, we're talking safaris in Kenya and things like that. They really want to branch out. So it'll be like top of the range stuff, middle of the range stuff, lower. But, you know, you book through them.
JENNIE: We'll get in touch with them.
ZOE: Linking back to something you said about the golfing trust approaching you and therefore then you just saying about include travel, because you were involved in such a high profile event, obviously your name is known and I know you have nothing to compare it to, but do you I mean, it sounds very positive in a way, being involved in a national traumatic event. Positive in the sense of contact and high profile.
Are there any negatives to that? Do you feel like there's a massive pressure for you to be oh, yes, I'm a survivor and I'm a policeman and I'm strong?
KRIS: Not at all. No, not at all.
I mentioned earlier, like being like the centre of attention, things like that. I don't mind being used and abused. I enjoy it because it's things that I enjoy and I'm happy to do. I'll do them. There's a group, Westminster Bridge Survivors, run by a guy called Travis Frain, and he has done so much work.
We couldn't get an anniversary thing sorted until the 5th year anniversary and that's what he was doing with all the MPs and bits and pieces. And he's invited me to loads of things and some I'm like, I've attended or read the emails and some I'm like, okay, I'm not going to get involved with it this time.
So, yeah, the choice is obviously mine each time. But, yes, I get approached by a lot of people and nine times out of ten or 99 times out of 100, I'll always say yes because it's that thing that I enjoy. So I'm happy to get out of bed at 07:00 a.m. And go to something at 09:00 A.m. Because it gives me something to look forward to as well. That's why I said yes to doing this podcast as well.
JENNIE: I thought we were really special, Kris. I thought we held a really special place in your heart, but it's okay. I've also written down a note Kris likes to be used and abused, so I've got that reference,
ZOE: All the flashbacks of Kavos coming back, I thought I was his only.
KRIS: There's again, like with all the charities out there, SIA, there's backup there's Aspire. In fact, I'm doing a talk with aspire in April. They do their yearly fundraising event. It's a sports quiz hosted by the President. John Inverdale the sports presenter. Yeah. So I'm going there to do a talk and see how my sports knowledge is as well on the team.
If it's got golf from football, I'll be okay.
ZOE: Yeah. Tottenham Speciality. Tottenham speciality.
JENNIE: Oh, thank you for letting us use and abuse you.
KRIS: Oh, no, Jen, don't be like that.
JENNIE: On a Wednesday morning. I know, I really appreciate no, I genuinely really appreciate it. And I think we've managed to navigate our way through golf and football talk without me passing out into a bored coma, so I think we've done quite well.
But no, I really do appreciate it. And not everybody feels comfortable talking about sex and talking about that side of things. And I do think it obviously is important because it's kind of and it was definitely important to you. So really appreciate this and hopefully it's not the end of our conversations.
We will continue to use and abuse you.
KRIS: Definitely. I'd be more than happy to come back on and chat, and if there's anyone that comes forward with questions or anything like that, they can be emailed to me or we can set up another one and I can answer some questions.
I've got lots to look forward to. I've got lots to look forward to. I've got a few more talks planned for rest of the year, touching back onto golf before you fall asleep.There's the Cairns Cup, which is a disability Rider Cup style golf tournament. We did the first one last year in London and then in 2024, we're going over to Michigan to carry on Europe versus America.
I've been very lucky to be made Vice captain and I'm also a director of the Cairns Cup as well, so it's something that I'm going to push forward through for the next 10, 15, 20 years and just carry that on.
And the good thing is about the Cairns Cup, it's for all different disabilities, but for all different kind of levels of golf as well. We're not just after the best players, whereas the Rider Cup able body is the best kind of twelve Americans and twelve Europeans. We break it down into kind of like five people with a low handicap, five with a medium handicap and five with a higher handicap, because we want everyone we want it really inclusive and that's something that I've got to look forward to as well.
JENNIE: That sounds amazing to look forward to. And if we can ever share anything, please send it our way, but we will end now, because I know that we've had a really good chat and we've covered a lot of topics. But thank you again and we will be seeing you again for sure.
KRIS: Brilliant. I've loved it. Thank you.
ZOE: It's been really good. Thanks a lot, Kris.
KRIS: Thanks, ladies. Bye bye. Take care.
JENNIE: Thank you so much for listening. For more information, you can find us@enhancetheuk.com on Instagram at Etukundressing, twitter et. Ukundressing. We look forward to seeing you soon.